“THE LIFE and DEATH of SANDRA BLAND”
I think the innovation of the directors/Producers and the process of all the moving parts; playing out during the filming is a true testimony to the endurance of the family and reason this vital portrayal of history was able to be captured. I truly thank the family for sharing their journey with the public and nurturing the lovely Ms. Sandra Bland. I thank those who had the foresight, intuition and follow through to bring this project to viewers. With all due respect, I want to share my experience of you sharing the beloved Sandra Bland with me and with all my soul I hope my sentiments are received.
FEEL the FEELING
The movie opens with a #SandySpeaks clip and I immediately tear up.
In my mind all i see is my last interaction with an authority figure and I am so grateful that I walked away. Alive..and yet so Very sad My Sister in this “werk”----perished. I was deeply moved and overwhelmed by her brilliance and the fact #SandySpeaks my language.
THINK the THOUGHTS
I hear her words..”My white friends…..do i intend to incite….i want to unite……” but this fight has never been easy. I see the picture they say is her official booking photograph, I see the floor that has an uncanny resemblance to the background of Sandy’s mugshot. I see a trash bag in the trash can in the cell Sandy was said to have been housed; a crime scene that was said to be undisturbed. I see the trash bag Sandy was said to have hung herself from; I think they killed her. I think I have a lot in common with Sandy. I think about how many times I have been “curbed” due to my own advocacy with an agency or authority figure. I think about how articulate and well spoken my 8 year old daughters are; I wonder if there will be any justice for Sandy and her family. I wonder if I will have a better reality, about the state of race and its’ relations for my daughters before they become of age. I wonder how do I keep from teaching them a struggle that is not theirs to inherit; but on full display for their viewing. I wonder what would “Justice” look like in this case of senseless death of a beautiFULLY self identified woman of advocacy, activism, ethics, morale and overall LIGHT. HOW COULD ANYONE OR ANYTHING RECTIFY THIS LOSS? WILL WE AS A COLLECTIVE ORGANIZE, MOBILIZE, UNITE, UNTANGLE and APPLY all the love and resources #SandySpeaks shared and potential benefits circulating in our trillion dollar community? I think did I do enough to defend her honor and uphold her essence?
It has been three years since Sandy’s death; I think about Korryn(Gaines)--I call them by first name, not because I am familiar with them; but we are familiar with the same struggle.
We three, amongst countless others unidentified; identify as the least, the last and the left behind, but in demographics alone. What we, and, again: countless, unidentified others, know and practice is a right to Live from deep in our souls; and for some reason that challenges some caucasians, and can be even more challenging to a caucasian man in authority.
I watch the scene of the officer( using this term very loosely) approach Sandy’s vehicle and begin to address her. I think she did nothing wrong in any of her response or the way she handled the officer. I think his epigenetics kicked in and he asked himself at some point; “why am I arguing with a nigra woman”. I think he took it upon himself to disrobe mentally from being an officer; or his actions are par for the course of “how to handle a “nigra woman” in Waller County, Texas. When he asked her to get out of the car and she refused; he then responds; “...I’m gonna light your ass up…”. There is a sound that comes from in the vehicle--it could be said the officer hit Sandy and was already in full escalation mode when he began to physically handle her. I choose not to recount her mistreatment and leave that to you when you watch the documentary.
I think, what did he see when he began to treat her with such malice.
STRICTLY RACE/WHAT I THINK I KNOW
I know this is strictly about race. There is commentary in the documentary that speaks to this. I know that or I think I know that this should be a very clear cut conversation that involves the pathology of that old word “nigger” and all its implications and by products. I think what else could he have seen to treat her with such disregard and inhumane actions. I think he never saw Sandra Bland or Sandy-he didn’t see Geneva’s daughter. All he saw is something that his most basic and instinctual nature tells him to dehumanize, terrorize and torture; even up and until death. I am reminded that I AM SANDRA BLAND and all I can hope is I use my time to work towards the creation of all Sandy spoke. A socioeconomic environment where liberation is truly tangible and purposed living is profitable livelihood. I am reminded it is 2018 and what seems like every day I have to surpass the headline.. ”Another…...Killed today...officer, or local...man shoots unarmed…”.
THIS SHIT IS NOT NEW---in the words of producer and director David Heilbroner; while sharing during Q & A after the viewing. (paraphrasing) He was saying he had been all over the world previewing the movie and when speaking to the audience and when he would begin to talk about instances of being pulled over by the police and profiling and search and all the ill mistreatment that can be endured during a “standard stop”; he had never had one white audience member who had this experience. On the other hand in every viewing, the response was close to if not 100% of black audiences had experienced mistreatment during a “standard stop”. His simple yet verberating response; “...What the Fuck...” and that is a quote.
I think this may be a white man who gets it..or has a presence too receive..the notion of #beingwhileblack. None living in this present moment created the lingering behaviors or toxic and unsustainable models for “successful” living in North America; the mechanics were in place long before we were glints in our daddy's eyes. However, we continue to copy the model; I think we copy the model without enough review or oversight. I think we copy the model without review, oversight or the ability to move beyond personal bubbles and cultured trajectory for life. I think if we look at the foundation (constitution), I think if we look at M.O.V.E. in Philadelphia in the 80’s, and I think if we look at the numbers and the stats---ohh and please can we revisit the “Black Codes”? NOT SO YOU CAN REENACT THEM EITHER. I think there is much work to be done and...the sooner we engage in dialogues in american pathology; maybe my Daughters’ won’t have to be told what a threat speaking up for herself could be.
SPEAKING UP
I stand to ask my question. While I normally hate the person who stands and rants instead of asking a question-I was her in this moment--I cannot remember everything I said; but I do recall repeating ”...DON’T WALK OUT OF HERE ENTERTAINED…”. SAY HER NAME...I wasn’t raw but I was wide open--I think I may have admitted; roughly, that I may be able to benefit from having more multicultural experiences and associates. I believe I personally challenged Neera Tanden to use her Center for American Progress resources to begin to open up real dialogue about “The Pathology of Race; For the Oppressed and the Oppressor”. I think “it is past time for the accredited halls of intellectual policy to nurture the dialogue from the point of aggression far too often played out in media on a strong and regular basis”. At the time I write this yesterday's’ USA Today headline read: “Independent autopsy shows black man killed by police in Alabama mall was shot from behind” https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2018/12/04/autopsy-black-man-police-shooting-alabama-mall-shot-behind/2200531002/
I start thinking about why..and I am unsure of what I am asking. Then I know; I am asking how do I make the connection between Sandy Bland's’ death and my favorite quote on race. Neely Fuller said; “if you do not understand racism/white supremacy,everything that you do understand will only confuse you”. This is my axis, pivot and sling, I welcome any and all to the power.
