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| NATURAL ME |
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| MY HAIR CURLED |
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| EUROPEANIZED I was on the phone with my bestie and I was explaining to her that I was experiencing certain psychological drawbacks from adding a weave to my current style. I was sharing with her that I could not understand how I want to be taken seriously knowing I had this hair sewn into my braided strands of hair. I was suggesting that; especially for those who know what my "natural" hair looks like; it is difficult for me to take myself seriously with my addition. I AM unable to vouch for my readers; but, I AM still learning and learning to love me. With that; I have not had any weave in my hair for about 15 years and the fact that I AM now sporting beauty supply hair causes me to ponder deeply. I shared with my bestie that "this hair has made me go into deep conversation with myself"---she responded with the obvious---"well, what do you be saying to yourself?" I ask AM I betraying my code of ethics and/or principles. Is this the result and by-product of the consequence of me improperly caring for my hair? AM I really perceived as better due to the lack of "kink" in my hair? AM I okay with my children preferring this look to my own natural; untamed state? Do I require my look to be this way to succeed? This is what I found myself asking ME. I intend to receive answers---- I admit; my hair has been a long standing issue for as far back as I can remember. My hair is thick and course; yet full of body and beautiful when properly maintained. SO, why AM I documenting this experience---because it is vital to ME. I thought I would never wear weave again but due to my failure to maintain my natural properly---this was an alternative to allow the hair I have to grow and be properly nourished to set the road back to my natural----by way of weave---and get my shining "RESULT". This is really the impetus for this blog--- I learn from life and experience---for those who get it---"existentially"---my hair represents several facets of life for me. And, what MY experience is from this seemingly isolated cosmetic enhancement. Vanity is the most immediate response; but I can also rationalize the benefits of my "enhancement"--I can surmise that the world is simply not ready for my particular kink of the coil. I have concluded that my hair---as I walk my home is "persona non grata"--is that me or society? My point is I AM currently working on a results only outcome model--this is new to me. I have traditionally been an individual who practices comfort over currency or currency creation. By that, I mean, I do honestly believe that majority of the population is shallow, and are more receptive to beauty. In the event, I AM seeking public acknowledgement and/or acceptance--- is my natural hair disadvantageous? I intend to answer these questions and more as I journey through this phase of myself. I wanted to begin by documenting the thoughts and accompanying behaviors. While I love me as I AM; I also know that for presentation purposes---I AM better received donning someone else's coiff. All I have to say is.."It was the best of times, It was the worst of times." |
