The Arrogance of America/Y Trump is in the Lead

The arrogance of America is, unnerving, to say the least. To jump right into the story; I AM currently a resident of the District of Columbia and I make my way to the museums and galleries as much as I can. On an outing one day, I decided to take my then three year old twin daughters to the “National Museum of The American Indian” I CRINGE TO WRITE THE WORDS----can you see why? Quite possibly not; this is the purpose of this paper---but I digress. This was my first visit to this particular museum; I have visited the Smithsonian, The Air and Space Museum amongst others; this is relevant. I validate my relationship(s) to museum to say that I felt familiar and comfortable in museum environments. Upon walking into this building---I could almost hear the spirits say “you believe this shit”----The powers that be could not even allow my ancestors the word Native.

I felt atrocity, death, regret, war; a level of massacre I could not describe in words any one persons’ ear should hear. I felt the anguish of a people who had to come to the stark revelation of beasts and plunderers in their midst. I felt a supreme sense of disrespect, blatant disregard and murderous intent. I felt like it could all happen too soon all over again. As I walked through the first exhibit---I remember it was a kayak exhibit, showing kayaks from the days of the Natives through modern day. I thought what a resource this must have been for them and I went into thinking about how this one resource more than likely changed their complete concept of how things were or could be done. With the ability to now be mobile traversing waters and having the ability to move goods and/or services allowed them to maximize their opportunity.

I cite this, because this is what the power structure of America is really known for. When government, patriots and others speak to the “GREATNESS” of America---they never discuss the tortuous bullshit America is guilty of committing. I AM #Exhaustedfrombeingwhileblack and I have to take my time to express my extreme disdain with the Illusion that is the American dream or the western ideal.

A conversation, exposing, engaging and empowering individuals to understand the system in which they revere; is the same system that initiated, nurtured and maintains oppression, caste systems and consumer status quo.

If anyone can tell me why we continue to visit and support these monoliths of colonialism and debauchery; I would greatly appreciate it. I AM hurt to my inner being about the current socioeconomic status of the culture I so readily identify. Black men are being mutilated by the media, black women are being murdered at an alarming rate and the detriment caused by systematic socialism continues.

In the spirit of the forefathers of Tyranny and Exploitation. I will say I AM at the point of Freedom or death. I also cite the extreme of having to jump straight to deaths gate as a result of requiring #MyReconciliation. TELL THE TRUTH #TRUTH2POWER #MelanatedMajority

TWINS WIN I QUIT

Confident that I AM worthless as a mother; I sat on the side of my bed and cried. I come to the same monthly decisions; who gets paid? What Am I able to afford for the house and how am I going to move around with nothing left over. I phone a friend to lift my blues. I begin to cry again; then I am angry at myself for crying. I am angry that I AM angry, AGAIN; I AM ANGRY. I do not want to be, I want to be positive. But I am finding it challenging to find the positives. Between my personal challenges, my sensitivity and my broad scope of civic society; i find little or no solace in my world.

In my anger I reached out to a friend, a friend who knows me and offers me a vision of myself to help me thru my hardtimes. Before we get to that remembrance, we go thru me venting. Which sounds like; " I do not know how to be a professional, a parent and a social butterfly at the same time. Those are three very different gears for me. So I tell her; "I know women have been doing this for as long as women have had babies, but I am not adjusting well to being a single parent." I also tell her, "it was different with my son; but with my twins it is just different and for every black bitch that said "I don't need a man; Imma strong black woman"; I could line them up one by one and slap the pure DEE shit out of them. I have never wanted a "Man" so bad in my life. I will explain "Man" a little later. Right now, my focus is these children I have created and my adjustment or lack thereof to parenting them on my own.

After the grief and tears; she always asks "so what now Maka?". I normally have answers and many which address various issues. But, for me and my single parenting dilemma, I have none. I share with her that it is a constant mindphuck of I AM doing the best I can, but I should not have to do this on my own. I go on to say that the worst part of it is the reality that my babies were created by a man whose greatest desire is to hurt me. This means the children lose lose because if my state of being is negatively affected; so is theirs.  I try to explain this to their father; to no avail.

Their father is an older man who I thought was "safe", I was extremely vulnerable at that time. My error; life had been really hard and I thought I could love this man and create a good life for me and my son---my daughters were not born. I share this because I frequently find myself angry at myself for being in this position. I love my daughters; I just never saw myself raising my child(ren) alone, this is my achilles heel. I cannot seem to get over the fact that the decisions I made, in a very vulnerable state, caused me to be "left" doing this enormous job all by myself. I call bullshit.

So, how do they win; because I submit---I submit to parenting without all of the answers. I submit to my dark side; which creeps up in the weirdest ways at times; I submit to the love of Creation that consistently reminds me that it will not forsake me. I submit to the fact that if I can make myself show up-----I allow Creation the opportunity to show out for me. I submit to the fact that "My Life" is a journey and not a destination. I envision that my good days will outweigh my bad ones.

In closing, TWINS WIN, I QUIT; trying to hide behind the veil of image and begin to live in the space of continuous source, granting me ReSource and abundance.